Photo of the Week

Moment

Current Reading: Running On Empty by Marshall Ulrich
Current Music: Pat Metheny, What's It All About
Mood: Trail running excited
Sounds: My wife reading a story to my daughter
Smells: Who Smurfed
Temperature: 82 degrees
Thoughts: Trail running, meditation and writing, there is something profound in this trinity....hope I can discover what it is?

Light

We have been experimenting with different lighting set-ups this year. This is what I learned (or in truth, remembered).

Flex TTL - Nikon PocketWizard is good, not great. When set for TTL, flash recycle time has become an issue. When the flash is set in Manual, no problems at all.

Tripod and a reflector are still my best weapons of choice for off-camera light.

Late to the game on researching this, White Lightning (self-contained studio flashes), which I call “canned light”, are less expensive than most high-end flashes. I just had to send a flash into Nikon to have it fixed. If the flash repair cost more than $300 I am going with a new White Lightning.

Natural light is how I prefer to shoot. I feel it is the best way to create separation between you and other photographers. Natural light is never the same twice......

Photo of the Week

Zombie, Zendo & Motion

I remember the pain but I forgot how bad it feels.

This summer I have been on a transformational journey of body, mind and soul. At times on this blog I write about my health and its condition. I do my best to stay away from words (thoughts) like "disease", "illness" and other depressing verbiage. Why? We all suffer in some way. No need to label mine.

Two months ago I set out to rehab myself from this past winter of sickness and also set into motion training for this upcoming winter season. For reasons unbeknownst to me winter is hard on me, body, mind and soul...hard.

For 60 days I have been a soldier to my mission at hand. I started slowly with push-ups and pull-ups in my backyard, doing as many as I could, which wasn't much. Daily I built my strength. Walking at first around the block, progressing to walking 5 miles a day. Three weeks ago I started trail running, which I love. Back in March of this year I was walking with a cane and today I am trail running. I feel like Lance Armstrong, minus the cancer and the fame. No ultra marathon in my future as of yet, but who knows? Ego is alive and getting stronger, push-ups do a body good.

I fuel myself with a library of endurance books, reading everything that I could get my hands on. I motivated myself with thoughts of my wife and daughter while chanting the mantra “heart & strength” over and over in my head. I’ve even hired a business coach to help guide me along this journey. We talk about the “now” the “what might be” and the dreaded “yes/but” moments we all face in life. It's a cocktail of therapy and business advice from a guy who looks like George Carlin and talks like the Dalai Lama. He thinks I should write a book.

I joined a Zendo to develop my meditation practice. I see it as training for what might never come, but I want the foundation to be laid if needed.

Two days ago I had a set back. I awoke to pain and a feeling deep inside of me that was not good. A shakiness in the core of my body has returned. I call this feeling “zombie fog syndrome”. 60 days of work gone, for not. When zombie mode strikes, life mentally becomes hard. I question every move that I made over the past couple of days, I question every piece of food that I consumed, I even question the people that I came into contact with, constantly searching for patterns that might lead to answers. No answers arise, no patters form.

Sunday morning I sat through an hour and a half of zazen in this zombie fog of pain and self doubt. The only reason I went was a nagging feeling I had all throughout the night of “do not miss it". I awoke early, so I went.

This meditation was not my best, my mind ran wild with thoughts and my body surged with pain. Not once did I feel relief while on the mat. The bell rings three times and the zazen period is over. Thank God I say to myself as I try to stand and not look as if I was going to fall over.

After the session was over and I walked to my car I noticed a sensation flowing through my body. This is good. I feel ok. Pain is subsiding.

Motion, 60 days of motion in body, mind and soul. This is my answer! I trained myself for motion. Health is out of my control at this time. Motion is not. I can move forward, if the body fails I can move the mind , if the mind fails I can move the spirit. As long as I have breath I have motion. I am in control, this is what I learned. This is what I wish to share with you.

My life is guided by the simple words of “create, connect & grow”. I am learning that it is all about the act of motion. Motion is the fuel for my philosophy.

Do something good, repeat it, then share it....that is motion....

Updates & Stuff

~ New photos on our main site, Craig Photography (Click Here)
~ My Flickr page has some new pics, finally (Click Here)
~ Elizabeth has a new blog...go see (Click Here)

Photo of the Week

Barefoot Spirituality

Sitting in the zendo this past Sunday morning deep in zazen I peek around the room. Peeking during zazen will not get you any closer to enlightenment but it does feel good to stretch the neck. I started to think about, actually in zazen you're not supposed to think; your thoughts arise, you notice them and then let them pass into the emptiness.

We are all barefoot. A group of barefoot people sitting in a Zendo contemplating the whatever?

This got me thinking about how many things in my life I do better when I am barefoot. I write better when I am barefoot. I play guitar better when I am barefoot. I trail run (almost) barefoot, in Vibram 5 Finger shoes. Yoga barefoot, lots and lots of things I do in my barefoot. I play with my daughter in the backyard barefoot.

There is no special reason why I prefer barefoot life, I just do.

After the Sunday service at the Zendo I could not stop thinking about all the barefoot Buddhas we are trying to be. There is comfort in barefoot but also there can be pain if you do not watch your step. Barefoot brings about awareness to your body and attention to the soil you walk upon. I like this idea. Mindfulness by foot.

Currently reading “Marathon Monks of Mount Hiei” by John Stevens. It is the story, if that is the right word, of a group of Buddhist monks who push the limits of human endurance in service for attaining enlightenment. In 7 years they will have run 1,000 marathons on a vegan diet. This is taking “The Four Noble Truths on suffering” to a crazy place of ultra endurance athletes seeking a spiritual high. By the way, they run in straw sandals that fall apart daily, they run nearly barefoot.

What I am learning in this book?

That we need to know our place in this world. To understand the soil that we walk on, to experience the importance of each season. To see the effects of what damage we may do to our surroundings. To take notice to the people around us as we are moving by so quickly.

Barefoot spirituality. I remember reading a Ken Wilber book where he wrote “Finding your spirit is as easy as noticing your feet” .

I like that....

~ Time Off

Going for a long walk in the woods... See you next week.

Moment

Current Reading: RUN by Dean Karnazes
Current Music: David Bowie Best Of
Mood: Vibrant
Sound: TV noise
Smells: Waffles & Coffee
Temperature: 80 "ish" today
Thoughts: Having a detailed contract good....relying on e-mail conversations not good.

Creative Photography ~ Talk

(Its not about the camera)
(Unleashing your creativity)

(Healthy living via a creative process)
(10 commandments of creativity)

Tomorrow night I will be giving my first talk on creativity. Public speaking on creativity has been a longtime goal of mine and it will be nice to check it off the bucket list. Hopefully if I do my job well it will be the first of many.

This talk has taken on different themes throughout this past year. To give you the short back story of how this “talk” came to be, last year after teaching a photo 101 workshop the conversation veered to my beliefs about the importance of creativity in daily life. This conversation was held after the workshop ended with a small group of people. After the conversation ended I was asked if I could give this same talk next year at the “Health Fair”.

One year later, I will be giving this talk. There will be four running themes: (see above).

Originally the talk was going to be on “faith and creativity”, but at the last minute I was asked to change the title to simply “Creative Photography”. The title change did bother me a little, but truthfully not much. Faith will be a guiding theme blended throughout the talk. And no, it will not be evangelical at all.

Lastly, I will end the talk with a Q&A session. I am guessing I will get a lot of techie questions, that's ok: I will tell you what the best camera to buy. (But you probably won’t like my answer.)

Where: Upper St. Clair Community Building
Free: Open to all
Time: 7pm

Zentimental

Zentimental, that's how she describes her feelings. She laughs, pours herself more coffee and continues on with her meal. Me, I am seated across the breakfast table from her, with seven other people joining her at the morning table.

Prior to this meal, I completed my first formal zazen meditation at Plum Blossom Zendo. I have been attracted to Zen for well over a decade, but never made the jump to start a formal practice.

Zentimental: that is the perfect word to describe my feelings. I have read books, lots of them on Zen. I have practiced home meditation for ten years but never had I made the journey to expand this passion.

I have roots in Christianity and a strong connection to the works of Zen practitioners. At this period of my life it's time to grow both lineages in a blending journey. Let's see what happens.

Sunday morning I park my car on a normal street right down the road from Carnegie Mellon University. This does not look like a Zendo to me. I walk up a couple of steps and knock on the front door of a townhouse. There is nothing Zen about this experience. Where is the Buddha statue? Where are the prayer flags? Where is the Zen garden? This is just a townhouse in a row of other townhouses.

The door is answered by a woman with a smile and a please come in. People greet me politely, I shake hands and exchange niceties. Next I am taken to the third floor of the house , this is the Zendo. An empty room with a Buddha statue and eight meditation cushions on the floor. Ok, this is starting to look Zen to me. I am given a Zen 101 intro class of what to expect and how to act in the Zendo. Bow to the Buddha first then bow to the group then bow to your mat then sit. I was given a list of the chants and prayers and then I walk through the proper technique of walking meditation.

Bell rings three times, all becomes silent. The group from downstairs walks quietly to the zendo. We sit for 25 minutes of zazen followed up with 15 minutes of walking meditation, then one last period of 25 minutes of zazen.

The first zazen session went great, all those books and home practice was paying off. "I am a meditator", I think to myself. Bring on the ten day retreats. Three bells ring again ending the first period of zazen. Next, the group stands up and starts walking clockwise. At this point I am not meditating, I am just trying not to walk into the person in front of me. My mind is full of noise and I think the guy two people in front of me looks like George Carlin, I try not to giggle, please God do not let me giggle now. (good to have roots in Christianity for such an emergency) My prayers were answered. More bells ring out, more bows and we sit for the last 25 minutes of zazen. This is not going well; my back has a sharp pain in between my shoulder blades, the right side of my face is itchy all I want is that damn bell to ring. Ok, so a ten day retreat is out, for now.

The bells ring, I did it. We rise and the practice leader give out orders for morning chores. I have to help clean the zendo. I knew this part was going to happen, all those books prepared me for this. I clean all the mats in silence while another man vacuums the floor. This is nice I think to myself. The movement feels good and silence makes the work mindful. OK this is good, I am feeling something. My heart beats slow, my mind is focused at the job at hand, I will come back to this zendo. The bells ring three times and we go down to the breakfast table.

I feel Zentimental.......

Elizabeth Craig Intimates

If You Like Elizabeth Craig Intimates, May I Ask That You “LIKE” Me? | Shameless Request for Some Facebook Love

Well I have to say I gave in to something I said I never would: requesting people to “Like” me. As a business owner I get TONS of requests to “Like” other people’s businesses and it can get a bit overwhelming. However, I was recently convinced that my Intimates photography could be pushed further if I opened a Facebook business page. So…*sigh*…I finally gave in. I’m not complaining! I’m incredibly blessed that people seem to like my work (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!) so it did make sense to make this small leap.

So, as much as I hate to ask, and as much as I feel like a 7 year old on the playground asking you to be my friend (actually that’s kinda cute…..will you “Like” me? I promise I’m a good friend, loyal, fun and have a terrific sense of humor (if I do say so myself)

If you like Elizabeth Craig Intimates, may I ask that you “LIKE” me?

Thanks for all the support!

Updates & Stuff

To see some of our best creative portraiture, ever (Click Here)

July 14th ~ I will be speaking on “ Creative Photography Process” (p.s. Its not about the camera) Click here for info

Off to see a Biz coach about a Zen practice...

Moment

Current Reading: Soul Mining: A Musical Life by Daniel Lanois
Current Music: Psychedelic Furs, Greatest Hits
Mood: Ready to go....
Smells: Coffee
Sounds: Quite morning hum of Mother Nature
Temperature: 87 degrees
Thoughts: Birthed a new project-idea last night. I need this. As of late I have been purchasing new equipment to speed up post production work. You can not purchase your way to a new idea-project. Now I need to set aside the time and hope the weather becomes my creative partner.

July 4th Photo & Free Download

As promised, here is a free download, photo taken July 4th 2011.


This photograph is licensed under a creative commons licensing: Please feel free to use and distribute the photography in accordance with the licensing.

Hope you enjoy the pic...

~ Time Off

Have a great 4th of July. See you next week.

Peace ~ John

Pittsburgh Engagement Photography | Mellon Park

30th post in 30 days. So What!

This is my 30th post in 30 days. For those of you keeping track (and I would be surprised if any of you are) I started this journey on May 31 with the story of Abner Townsend. When I first took that photo and then sat down to write about it I had no idea the impact that Abner would have on me. 30 days later and at this time I must give thanks to Abner for his guiding motivation that has stayed with me.

The day after Abner's post I received an invitation for a 30-day writing challenge from the team of Seth Godin. The goal was to write a post a day based on the work of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Every day I would receive an e-mail with a passage from Emerson's “Self Reliance” essay with a prompt to write about the quote. The running theme was about looking inward and questioning your thoughts and writing them down. As I did the 30 days of writing I was not especially good at being influenced by the daily prompt. I went my own way. But the prompts were the first e-mail that I would read daily. Thank you to the Godin team for providing this daily prompt of accountability.

The discipline: this daily task has been a life lesson for me that I hope that I will carry on. Many slight changes in body, mind and spirit started happening with this goal in mind. I read a lot of books to spur my thoughts. I took a lot of walks to give my mind time to process. I even wore a hole into the bottom of my shoes on last night's walk. Kind of appropriate that this would happen at the end of the 30 days. I exercised faithfully for 30 days, nothing extreme, but faithfully. I have a pull-up bar in my backyard, it's attached to my daughter's swingset. A couple of times of a day I would go out to the pull-up bar and do as many as I could then I would do a set of push-ups after that. That was my workout for the past 30 days...push-ups and pull-ups, 3 times a day. No sets or reps or even big master plan, just exercises a couple of times of day.

What have I taken away from this this journey?

I can write a page a day. This means a lot to me. I have no grand ideas of writing a novel but now I feel that I have the discipline to achieve something more. No idea what that may be but I am not afraid to do the work. As for the walking and exercise, I feel great and my pants fit better. My wife and daughter are tired of me showing of my new rip “ish” biceps ( I’m not ready for muscle beach). Doing exercise daily, even in small amounts, has created a noticeable change (if I do say so myself).

Today's e-mail prompt asked me to imagine my future self 10 years from now. What would that future me tell the me of today?

Do the work, daily ~ small discipline goals, daily...create big results.

Now I have to go take some photos... & buy some shoes.

Commandments of Creativity (Part 6 of 10)

(See Commandment #1 #2 #3 #4 #5)

These commandments are getting harder and harder to write about as I go along.

I have taken many walks trying to place into words my message. It starts with the idea that few people get to be working artists. Why? Because few people do the work that is necessary to achieve their goal. The easiest example I can think of is building a portfolio. It is not often that a person builds a portfolio, does the work necessary to build that portfolio without the assurance that they will get something in return for their efforts. Money, fame, more work, pat on the butt, whatever it is that motives you to keep on creating. But the problem with creativity is not that it is an act of receiving something, it is an act of giving something. Results should not influence the amount of work that you will do or not do.

This rant brings me to:
Commandment #6.
Do as little harm as possible and be aware of the harm that you do.

What does that have to with creativity? Let me tell you.

It teaches you how to see the world through a different lens to do the work, the creative stuff, that is needed. Too often we walk through life unaware in a dreamless re-hash of what is going on around us.

To notice is to see suffering. To notice is to see grace.

If you live in America or any first-world country it is hard to purchase anything without doing harm to someone. We can not walk through life without causing harm to someone or something. Taking the time to notice the harm that we unintentionally place on each other, either by the products we purchase or the words that we might say, give us a source of creativity.

Creativity is fueled by our feelings, needs and wants. Art is pain, creativity breads suffering. Both of those two lines are spot on. The practice of seeing the world is a practice that can cultivate new ideas, new projects and a new way to bring purpose to your work.

Arts only purpose is to serve. What is your art serving? Is it healing or entertaining or thought-provoking to the viewer?

Do as little harm as possible and be aware of the harm that you do.

Create, connect and grow in body, mind and spirit.

Nothing Special ~ Get Good At It.

Nothing special but it is extremely difficult when done correctly.

I push myself to live a meaningful life, a life of purpose and effort. I have written those two words, “purpose and effort”, more than any other words in my journals. Still those two words remain a mystery to me as much as they are a guiding force for how I wish to live my life.

Purpose and effort are undefinable words to me in the broad sense of their meaning. Those terms are just too damn debatable when you get down to it. How am I supposed to know what the correct level of purpose is or the amount of effort to place into my work? Is the point of exhaustion enough effort? Is getting up only to finish something what can be called purpose? Or are they simply labels we place upon ourselves and our actions?

I came across the words “nothing special” while reading about a Japanese therapy technique. The idea awakened a new thought for me. Get good at it. Get good at doing all those things in my life that are nothing special.

How many things do I touch in a day that are nothing special, but the importance of doing it correctly is important?

The first thing I think about is my wife's coffee cup. Every morning she uses the same orange coffee cup. She leaves it on her desk or on the counter every day. Sometimes I find it in the bathroom. Everyday I pick it up and place it in the dishwasher, slightly irritated that I had to do this again. Every morning if it's not in the cabinet she checks the dishwasher for it and then washes it out for herself.

If I were to wash it by hand and place it back into the cabinet so that it would be ready for her the next day, that would be nothing special on my end.

It would become an act of “secret service”. A small act of kindness, daily. Without bringing attention to myself (accept for this blog post...but you get my point) a small act of nothing special to make life more enjoyable and easier.

Doing things correctly is nothing special but it does take purpose and effort.

That is a definable idea.

Moment

Current Reading: It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong
Current Music: American Idiot by Green Day
Mood: Vibrant
Smells: Barbecue
Sounds: Wind, trees & birds
Temperature:
 73 degrees
Thoughts: Is photography a sloppy art?

Joy

A long walk in the woods, a good book, great conversation, time with my family...these things bring me joy.

I was asked to list everything that brings me joy, actually to catalog it. Break down the smallest things that I normally would not notice the happiness that it gives to me (see yesterday's post on coffee).

A mother of a good friend of mine passed away yesterday morning after a long struggle fighting a debilitating disease. Her passing does not bring me joy. The comfort my friend takes in knowing that she is at peace with God brings me joy. The prayers that I offer to her and her family brings me joy and gives me a feeling deep in my chest of comfort. This bring me joy.

Living a life of purpose and effort brings me joy, all that shall pass. I know at my death it will all be stripped away. Death, joy and rebirth in the afterlife?...When asked I say that I am OK with whatever happens after this life. If I go to Heaven or melt into the Nirvana or if I am reincarnated for another go around I’m OK with it. This may seem odd, disconnected or that I am experiencing disbelief but none of that would be correct.

I believe deeply, just not deeply enough to catalog my afterlife trip. This may seem even stranger but this brings me joy. The not knowing. The study of faith has been a lifelong passion of mine but the end result has never been much of a motivator for me. I hope my afterlife evolves into seeing all my loved ones, playing music, taking photos (guessing the sunsets in Heaven are amazing) but I’m not guided by the what-ifs of faith.

I am guided by the joy-of-faith; the experiential things that we can have here and now in this moment. There is joy in praying for the passing of life. There is joy in noticing the grandeur in the woods. There is joy in appreciating the words in a good book, and there is an immense amount of joy in the details of the love that my family offers me, daily.

Going to make a pot of coffee and then go for a long walk in the woods (joy).

Have a great day.

~ Peace

Gratitude

This morning as I prepared my coffee I thought about the soil that grew the beans. I thought about the weather that helped the plants grow. I thought about how the beans were harvested from the land. Was it by machine or was it by man? If by machine, did the machine rip the bean from the soil, damaging the bean and the land? Or by a man who took his time, selected only what was ready to be picked? Was that man treated well by his employer? Did he earn a fair wage? Did he enjoy his work?

I thought about what happened after the bean left the farm. Traveling by truck to a factory. The bean roasted then crushed into grains of dust. Next to be vacuumed sealed into bags that have been labeled for sale. Then packaged into boxes to be transported all over the world.

How many people would have to touch the coffee bean in some way for me to have this cup of morning coffee. This cup of coffee sitting steaming hot next to me, giving off that aroma that I love so much to be the fuel that inspires me to write this post.

How many people? There is no way I could thank them. There is no way I could even guess at the number of people it took to get this cup of coffee from the soil to my hand.

A lifetime worth of gratitude was given to me in the first cup of coffee that I drink, daily.

What do I do daily that is an act of gratitude?

All too often I do things in search of gratitude. I write a post and wait for a thank you e-mail. I photograph a wedding and we receive a five star review on some site (thank you for that, it helps a lot). If we receive a 4.8 or 4.9 we comb through the photos trying to find where in the photos we did not deliver five star work.

Even if I do a random act of kindness to a stranger on the street I patiently wait for the thank you from them. If I do not receive the blessed thank you, my act of kindness does not feel validated.

How much good does the world give to me in my cup of coffee? This may seem like a grand reaching thought about a cup coffee, and it is. Noticing the good that people do is harder than it seems. I have a guiding theme in my life: do as little harm as possible and be aware of the harm that you do. Later on this week I will write a post on that topic.

Through a conversation I had yesterday morning it got me thinking about going deeper than noticing harm, but also to notice the good (good to the last drop...just had to) that is done for us, all of us behind the scenes of life.

Deep bows of gratitude to all that help to get this cup of morning coffee in my hand. I do love it.....

What would my life look like if I could not fail?

What would my life look like if I could not fail? That was the question that I was asked today. Visualize yourself floating in the Great Salt Lake (America’s Dead Sea), think of it as a symbolic rebirth. How would I answer?

The first thought that arose in my mind is that I would want to be Brice Springsteen. Seriously. I want to have done the work that Springsteen did. Born to Run written and preformed by me, John Craig. It's an awful thought that the first thing I would want is for the life of Springsteen to dissolve and have my name inserted. To have those experiences, written the songs and played all those shows that he did. That was the first thought I had. Blame my conscience, I am just the witness to what is arising.

After giggling at myself and feeling slightly ashamed I gave it some real thought and I came to realize that I am very happy with the life I have built.

What I want is my life with the fears removed and the assurance that I am doing the right thing blessed by God. A divine voice that tells me YES, that is the right action, be not afraid.

To know that I am raising my daughter to be kind and intelligent.
To know that I am a good husband, partner and friend to my wife.
To keep my business fluid and successful.
To have “just” the right amount of clients.
To have “just" the right amount of money.
To have no fear of my health falling apart.
To be able to sit on the meditation mat for 45 minutes a day.
To be able to do 20 pull-ups effortlessly.
To climb Mount Everest (with my wife's blessing) (insert from wife: No.)
To travel the world with my family.
To earn a living traveling the world with my family.
To motivate people to live a healthy life through a creative practice.
To have the assurance that I am living a life of purpose and effort.

There is also the space that I would create for my life if it could not fail.

I would open a studio space that is suited for photographing and meeting with clients. We currently do have a studio space but it's not the grand space that I dream of.

This space would have 20 foot ceilings with hardwood floors, white walls and natural light flowing in from the east side in the morning and west side in the evening. It would have dressing rooms, a full kitchen, a beautiful sitting room, complete workstation and of course so much square footage that I would never again have to trip over equipment.

My wife's Intimates photography would be held there. I would teach workshops and give classes on “Unleashing Your Creativity”.

I can visualize it all. A space for business, creativity, health and discovery of what is possible.

The only thing that I cannot seem to answer is why I have to float over the Great Salt Lake to get my answers?

Endure More Pain

Pushing yourself to the extreme. Can I do it? How much pain (or suffering) can I endure to reach my goal?

As of late I have been reading every book that I can on the topic of pushing yourself past the breaking point. I am researching, trying to find similarities to what makes these people successful in their sports and in their lives.

Reading these books I am finding one theme running throughout the each story: suffering and the ability to endure more pain than the person next to them. From ultra running to navy seals to cycling they all say the same thing, “I am not in any better condition than the athletes to my left or right, all I can do is tolerate more suffering than the rest of the competitors”.

Buddhism teaches us that suffering is the path to being awakened. See the lesson of the “Four Noble Truths” and Eight Fold Noble Path” to read up on the philosophy.

Jesus would have to endure excruciating pain to deliver his message with meaning. If not for what he had to endure his teachings would of died off long ago, even with the resurrection.

Suffering is pain, but it is also a mindset.

I have been asking myself: what is my breaking point? How far can I push my muscles and mind to exhaustion. This begs the question of why? Pain is pain and pain hurts. What's the point of undergoing suffering? I am not training for anything, not a race, not a hike, not a climb. I am training for life, a life to live with effort and purpose.

This is what I need to discover for myself. How much fuller will I be able to live if I can continue to push myself passed the point of fatigue.

I go on 5 mile walks a day, I do 25 push ups and 10 pulls and I feel strong. At no point do I really “push” myself because if I get tired or fatigue I sit and rest.

What if I push myself passed the pain.

Could I write with flow, photograph with a clearer mind's eye? Could I be a more attentive father and husband?

Conscious suffering in body, mind and soul...it takes lots of heart and lots of strength....I’ll let you know how I do.

If you have book recommendations on this topic please e-mail me. Also, if you have a personal success story of this topic please e-mail me. I’m interested!

My Dance with Susan Sarandon ~ Short Story

Flamenco music played in the background as I dance with Susan Sarandon, damn she beautiful. I look down to see my toes swaying to the music on the hardwood floor. Next I noticed my bare knees then a white sheet hanging off of me. I’m in a hospitable gown?

Susan is dressed in one of those gowns made by a famous designer that would be worn on the red carpet. She whispers in my ear, I smile. She smells of lavender and bourbon whiskey. How I miss that smell of whiskey. The aroma and color of the drink was alway the best part for me. To hold a glass in my hand one more time, to smell the fragrant and watch the colors swirl around, that would be good moment.

Susan, I ask “How did I get here” “No idea” she responds. “Dance with me as you used too” “Use to?” I say to myself. I pull her close to my chest the music gets faster we move cross the dance floor. People are staring at us, why not I think to myself I am dancing with Susan Sarandon in a hospitable gown. She whispers in my ears for the second time, I smile.

Hand clapping, the crowd start clapping there hands in syncopated beat to the music. I smile at Susan, “dip” I ask here? Then proceed to dip her on the dance floor genteelly kiss the top of of her chest. The crowd erupts in cheers,I smell of urine. Urine? I just relieved myself on the dance floor, I couldn't feel a thing my body just let it flow. Susan doesn't seem to notice. She whispers in my ears for the third time, I smile.

Susan pulls me close, placing each hand on a cheek of my face. “I had a good time, my conscience is telling me that its time to leave. Follow me, it time to follow me, we had our fun now it time to service your conscience” she said.

The dance floor erupts in flames. The flames do not burn me. Susan moves away from me dancing erotically swaying her hips moving her hands up and dow her body, reaching up and grabbing her hair pulling it into a bum to show off the line of her neck. I stand there engulfed in flames that do not burn. Somebody hands me a glass full of whiskey, I drink staring down. “I’m a lonely soul. Please don’t keep me waiting. I tired of waiting for you. I had nobody till I met you, dance with Susan Sarandon” I cry out to her.

Susan whispers in my ear for a the last time “I expected you to accomplished nothing, so you could try anything.

Six months later I awoke from a coma.

Kiss me , kiss me, kiss me Susan Sarandon were the fist words I spoke.

30 Days, 30 Photos?

My 30 days of writing is coming to an end...nine days left. The past days of writing has excited me in many ways that I would not have expected at the onset.

I have taken longer walks thinking about writing. I have exercised daily thinking about writing. I have devoured more books searching for meaning, purpose and effort and read books to keep me focused on my task. I have enjoyed conversations, sipped wine and gotten hugs on this journey.

"Journey" is the word to describe this process. To write you have to live. To live you have to have enthusiasm for all that is around you.

I do not want to stop this flow of creativity. So what's next for me?

30 days, 30 photos? What do you think?

The goal would be to create a new photo each day. The only rule that I would set for myself is nothing repeated.

The biggest obstacle that I would face is getting my butt out of bed in the morning to shoot at daybreak and getting my butt off the sofa at night to shoot at dusk. When your butt is the problem that is never good.

I could do a long exposure of the skyline of Pittsburgh but only once in the 30 days and only from one point of view. I would permit a shot taken at dawn and at dusk to be to allowed as two different photographs.

With those same guidelines I would allow different abstract photos but only one could be from my ambient series.

Street photography is where I think I may have the hardest time deciding what is a repetitive pic. Street photography at twilight vs. street photography at rush hour are different, but both are still street photos. I will decide that one as the month goes on.

July 31st who will I be?

Today I am fitter, smarter (just spelled smarter wrong twice before getting it right :)) and happier do to this journey.

30 days, 30 photos. Will I succeed? Not even sure that I will complete this set of 30 days. I will try and I will enjoy the work.

Perfection is found in the process....

(side note from adoring wife that is editing this post: you can find lots of things to photograph in other cities. My psychic powers are telling me there is a romantic getaway in our near future...Oops! I mean a business trip for photography... ;-))

Commandments of Creativity (Part 5 of 10)

(See Commandment #1 #2 #3 #4)

Commandment 5. Living your purpose is living your calling.

For as long as I can remember I have been having conversations about faith and creativity. The interest in these subjects seems to be just born into me, not sure why. Some people are crazy about sports. Me? I am crazy about a monk with a paintbrush.

This is the hardest commandment to write about. The topic is too large to only place some tips on a single page, but I’ll try.

Ask yourself "what is my calling?" That is a hard question to answer, lucky you get a lifetime to completely discover the answer. To live fully awake we need to have a starting place to open the doors.

This is where we get stuck. How do I start? Do I need an "epiphany moment"? Do I need change? Yes, yes you do. But it's not as hard as you may think, but you will have to think.

At this point the best correlation is the connection of faith and creativity. This is what I have been building up to with the previous commandments. There are as many levels of development with your faith as there are levels of development with your creativity. The prior commandment are the building blocks to discovering your purpose and calling in life. Commandments 1 through 4 are the tools to get you to your answer.

I am not going to ask you to meditate or journal your way to these answers but they are the fastest track. After conversations about faith and creativity my second most asked about topic is meditating and journaling. It seems that people have a love/hate relationship with them. They wish it could be fluid and natural process, but it never is. The “perfection is found is the process” is too slow for most people to make a real connection. Connection is the key word, not commitment. Here is a tip that I found useful to me: I do not care how bad I am at it, no judgment at all, all I care is that I do it. Thirty seconds or 30 minutes on the mat, I do not care if I do more. A page, a word, a line in my journal, I do not care if I do more. All that I care about is that it is something.

As for your faith, I do not care what or whom you believe in. I do not care what you create. I do not care if you ever make a dime off your work. I do not care if you ever have the pure God moment. I only care that you do something, every day.

With faith you have two choices: either sit in the congregation and accept, or seek for experimental truth. In our creative pursuits we can either be an observer or a creator. The choice is yours.

If you choose the life of sitting in the congregation and observing from the sideline then that is all you get.

We have to de-condition ourselves into discovering our purpose to living our calling. Dreaming out loud and even dreaming quietly to ourselves has been crushed by culture, community and the boxes of time we live in. Life has been divided up into the many boxes of time: work time, family time, personal time, relationship time, running around time. There is no time left to “Do The Work”. To live your purpose and find your calling you have to put in the work.

Jesus and Buddha questioned the status quo of life. Think about that. The two greatest and most enlightened people questioned their place in this world, which lead them to their life calling. It does not have to be this grand of a leap. You do not have to go out into the wilderness for forty days. But you do need to put in the work.

Do not give up on being human.
Do not let the machine think for you.
Do not concern yourself with results, concern yourself with the process.
It’s ok to fail...fail often, fail forward, enjoy the failure.

Opening yourself up to a creative practice is a road map. Opening yourself up to the idea that faith is a creative process in its most divine form is a road map to your answers.

Go do the work. Think about commandments one through four. Your purpose and calling is given to you in those answers. Go discover it. Then share it, and shout it out load on the mountain top.

Living your purpose is living your calling. You will no longer seek, but experience.

Photo of the Week~ Happy Farthers Day

I know its a day late, but its a great shot. Happy belated Fathers Day!