Notes from the Road to Recovery

No mediation or yoga for days now, body not as stiff as I thought it would become. Mind clearer than I would have guessed it to be.

Vicodin, moments of stillness, hearing my own breath, cravings for scotch, motion all around me, quiet in my head, piano music plays in the background.

Sunday 9am woken by a crying baby, headache, and day five of recovery from sinus surgery. Toast, eggs and coffee prepared by Elizabeth for me. Life for her must be trying, I always seem to be sick – I am sorry for that. My daughter sits on my lap and eats my eggs. I’m thankful for the time spent with her.

Children, life and time seem to be equations meant for failure. If you spend too much time with your child, then as a provider for your family you will fail. If you spend too much time away from your family providing from them than as a Father you will fail your child. Balance with self-expectation; no clue how to answer that?

Watched the “The Darjeeling Limited” today. Good existentialism film. Not much of beginning-middle-end plot line, nonetheless I enjoyed it. Been reading “Gardening at the Dragon’s Gate” by Wendy Johnson. It’s a lovely memoir on soil, composting, and Zen. I am reading about dirt and enjoying it, could be a sign of old age?

Left over pizza and apple slices for dinner. Want to go for a walk, should sleep.