My Future Acceptance Speech

If I ever win any award this will be my acceptance speech.

“I wish my ego could be here with me now to enjoy this moment, but unfortunately it's out in the universe doing random good deeds.

From my higher-self I would like to say thank you to Jesus for creating me, Buddha for enlightening me, my mother for birthing me and to my wife for putting up with me.

To my fellow nominees I say to you...that you, you and you all suck, I spit on you.”

I will then proceed to yell out a bunch of random swear words in Chinese for no apparent reason.

I turn to the French super model who has just handed me my award and french kiss the French super model, hoping that the model is not a dude (hey this is the future, men could be a super models?) But whatever...how often do you get the chance to french kiss a French super model? 

I walk off the stage, my right hand waving the peace sign and my left hand flashing an unexpected gang sign. The crowd erupts in applause.  Then three people burst into flames.  Not sure why but three people always burst into flames when I give a speech.


Not surprisingly, all of what was written came true.  In the year 2021 I was awarded “Best Creative” on the planet for my as of yet untitled, unrecorded, unpublished, yet-to-be-a-global-smash phenomena performance on the new, soon to be named TV network.

How do I know all this you ask? 

My ego came back from the being out in the universe and told me so…..egos never lie.

I am out of here 母狗…..