12.17.2007

I want to quit smoking but I won’t quit smoking.com

Continuing with my great marketing giveaway ideas, here is a gem of prosperity that I want to toss your way. Ponder this one. A website that is an AdSense advertising, profit-driven business, a website that sells nothing, generates nothing and educates no one and takes no effort on your part to run it. Think, Perez Hilton meets Fox news.

The name of the site: “I want to quit smoking but I won’t quit smoking”, the domain name being http://www.iwanttoquitsmokingbutiwontquitsmoking.com/. The premise of the site is about the joys, struggles, humor and excuses of people trying to stop smoking all the while having no will to actually stop smoking. Let me tell you the history of how this idea germinated in my head.

I hate cigarette smoke. Secondhand smoke is a toxic poison that smokers can dispel on the innocent non-smokers of society. I hate smoking in public, walking down the street or in restaurants where smoke wafts toward the innocents. I hate driving behind a smoker who exhales their toxic, cancer-causing, secondhand smoke to come out of their car window. The smoke is vacuum-sucked into the car behind them (usually me) and then blown through the car vent causing the non-smoker inside to stink of smoke for the rest of their day. Cigarette smoking must be stopped.

Oddly, I like smokers but hate the smoke. Love the sinner (smoker) hate the sin (toxic, cancer-causing, secondhand smoke). If you see a large group of friendly strangers standing outside a public office building, they are probably smokers. Smokers share with each other, “You need a light, extra cigarette for the go? No problem”. Smokers are a kind, sociable community. Smokers have a super hero ability to light a cigarette under any weather condition. Too bad they couldn’t harness their kindness towards others and their super hero abilities for good. As kismet will have it they will die earlier in life due to the toxic, cancer-causing nicotine they consume through their poor lungs. The good fortune for them is that they will not miss the good years. Death by cigarettes is usually a fourth quarter thing.

That’s the back story of how “I want to quit smoking but I won’t quit smoking.com” came into existence. Next, let’s make money off of this vexing bunch of people.

This is how the site will work. You will ask people to e-mail their smoking trials and tribulations to you. You will post them daily. No work on your part, that’s a creative perk I tossed in for you. The site will make money by having people click on the advertisings on the right and left sidebars. The beauty is on the right sidebar the advertising will be for quitting smoking. The patch, pill, hypnosis, gum, psychic drugs, books and other snake oils that society has suggested. On the left side bar there will advertisements for smoking products. Tobacco, pipes, lighters, roll your own cigs, cig cartoon merchandise and other sorted paraphernalia that smokers enjoy spending their money on.

There it is, a gem of an idea. The readers will write the site. The advertisers will pay you for bringing sheep to the slaughter. All you have to do is offer a prayer to the god of St. Nicotine for creating this toxic, cancer-causing product that sucks the Free Will out of its users.

You’re welcome.