11.27.2007

Experience


Have you ever had the experience of not recognizing your own reflection in the mirror? The delusion of understanding who the reflection is but not accepting the answer your brain gives you. A phantom pain occurrence: paralyzing information that becomes wired into your brain circuitry every time you look in the mirror. This is not good and I think I am experiencing this. At times I just feel old. I no longer feel that I am the perpetual eighteen-year old. I sense my age. That is a very odd thing. People never feel their age due to their mind set, especially men. Men are the eternal little boys still playing ball down at the park. Even when we have children all we can think of is when will we be able to take that kid to the park and play some ball?

For the last couple of months I have been standing in front of the mirror pondering the reflection. The gray hairs in my chin I can accept. The skin aging I can accept. The eyes I do not recognize.

In the end of this rant I am probably just going through an existential phase of life (it sounds a lot cooler than a mid-life crisis). Plus mid-life for me doesn’t happen for another 12-14 years. I am going to be one of those people who live to be over 100 years old.